UltiversalQ 010: Mama McCoy’s Bouncing Horny Boy

This week Luke and Devin are back with Marvel’s Ultimate Merry Mutants as Beast gets catfished, Kitty Pryde joins the X-men, the President visits a murderous town, and Mark Millar sets the X-men against the Ultimates!

Issues Covered:

  • Ultimate X-men Vol 1 #21-26
  • Ultimate War #1-4

Check out the show notes and images after the jump!

Ultimate X-men 21-25 – Hellfire and Brimstone

21,22,25

Writer – Mark Millar, Pencils – Adam Kubert, Inks – Danny Miki, Colors – Dave Stewart, Letters – Chris Eliopoulos

Kitty Pryde is a teenager who gets in trouble for trying to go to a non-supervised party when she starts phasing through the floor before she runs out onto the street, almost gets hit by several cars and then ends up in the sewers. Her mother, Theresa, had reached out to Xavier before and he offers to let them check out the school which doesn’t get off to the best start with Jean driving them in a sports car while Cyclops is hotdogging it in the Blackbird and Charles reveals he isn’t used to talking without telepathy making him come off as a bit detached. Jean explains how the Professor helped her and the other students learn to control their powers and how now the X-men help on various missions and they are all financially supported by a secret organization.

Charles meanwhile meets with Theresa who will let Kitty stay but only to learn to use her powers and not participate in missions which Charles reluctantly accepts. So the team leaves to watch them go so Kitty can pack up but Jean is suddenly overcome with the vision of a fiery Phoenix.

Meanwhile in Pakistan, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are leading the Brotherhood of Mutants and specifically a group of post-animal mutants including Prosimian, an evolved gorilla, to attack a weapons plant and they end up disarming the entire nuclear arsenal for Pakistan. The newer members of the Brotherhood don’t like Quicksilver’s leadership though, finding him weak compared to Magneto, and feeling that they don’t do enough and they want to change who is running things, with Blob being the only loyalist to the Twins.

Back at the mansion Jean has recovered and Xavier thinks it is Jean’s powers maturing more. Meanwhile Kitty picks the name Shadowcat and Cyclops is trying to stop her from trying to get into missions, while also making plans to go into the Savage Land because some Marines vanished at Magneto’s old base when they wanted to take his technology. Wolverine comes in to give Scott some sass and when he says that Jean is missing riding the Wolverine train, Scott breaks and slugs him. Scott tells Kitty to get the Professor and the two start to fight until Xavier stops Wolverine before Cyclops gets skewered and then both of them are put in psychic time out because Xavier is disappointed – but that is interrupted when Jean has another vision of the Phoenix and some goblin things that aren’t explained.

23-24

Art – Kaare Andrews, Assists – Rusty Beach, Digital Paints – Dave McCaig and Chris Sotomayor

Beast meanwhile has still been getting catfished by the Blob online who is pretending to be Naomi, a supermodel secret mutant with a PhD, which other new members of the Brotherhood don’t like and Beast is getting really close to her.

Meanwhile Scott and Jean share a moment on the psychic plain while Wolverine, who Xavier swapped in for Colossus to help Cyclops and Wolverines learn to work together, flies them to the Savage Land to check on the Marines and Jean wishes Cyclops was there in real life to help with the Phoenix visions.

Beast meanwhile discusses some concerns that “Naomi” has like with the reasons the Hellfire Club has for funding the X-men and the potential of Xavier mind controlling all of them but Beast is trusting in Xavier.

Meanwhile Senator Turk is helping Iceman, Bobby Drake’s, parents push a 100 million dollar lawsuit against Xavier saying he brainwashed and endangered him. Bobby isn’t happy about it because the Senator is also a Sentinel supporter but his parents really want the money since they’ve become social pariahs with his father even losing his job.

Meanwhile Cyclops and Wolverine reached the Savage Land only to find Kitty snuck on board, they discovered her after landing and she gets ordered back to the ship to watch Adam Sandler movies.

Blob meanwhile continues talking as Naomi and criticizes Xavier claiming to be a pacifist when he killed Magneto and Beast reveals that didn’t happen. The rest of the Brotherhood becomes interested and Beast unaware, explains that it was a mass hallucination and explains where he’s living now, and Prosimian tells Blob to arrange a meeting for coffee.

As Wolverine and Cyclops enter the base and argue, Kitty calls to check in with Xavier who plans to expel her because she broke the rules.

At the press conference, Bobby is supposed to read a statement on live TV that Senator Turk wrote and he decides to tell the truth instead even though it will hurt his family and he walks off and freezes Turks balls.

As Wolverine and Cyclops get to the center of the base they are beset on by swarms of techno zombies who attack until they get corralled to be face to face with the now sentient computer that ran the base and now also mutated into an artificial intelligence because Mark Millar thinks everything can be a mutant. Now it has cyborged corpses of the people who came to disable it and turned them into it’s post human race until Kitty shows up accidentally phasing through the machine, causing it to explode because she saw a dinosaur around the plane that scared her, and Wolverine and Cyclops start to book it.

And then at the Hellfire Club, Brother Sebastian and the rest of the club are prepared for the Phoenix to arrive in 48 hours.

The X-men get invited to visit and meet with the members of the Hellfire Club with Xavier unaware of what to expect at a red carpet affair and he even telekinetics his way over the stairs. Storm and Jean meanwhile discuss how she is worried about what happened to Cyclops and the team goes on to hobnob with celebrities and politicians like Vladimir Putin, Ted Turner, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Alan Greenspan, and then Marvel creators Mike Marts and Mike Raicht. There’s also a Mr. Seville who may be a reference to Paris Seville who in 616 continuity was the former White Queen.

Xavier talks to Sebastian Shaw who he knows from his company, unaware that the club is plotting against him. Also Xavier has been handing out pieces by Stephen Hawking about mutants being the only opposition against the evolution of artificial intelligence.

Suddenly the Hellfire Club starts shooting at the X-men starting with Colossus and Shaw gloats that nobody knows they are there at the club and Shaw takes Jean and the others to the chamber where she has been drugged to help and release the Phoenix God. Xavier doesn’t believe they really take her seriously but Shaw explains this has been their plan and reason for funding and they plan to sacrifice the other students to her. At that moment, Beast tries to call but Shaw has the communicator.

As the Dawn arrives the Phoenix is summoned and she wakes up in Jean’s body and is angry that they summoned her and she points out that they have betrayed her host’s friends and kills them all and plans to redistribute the wealth of the club to Jean and she starts to help and cure people after that. Charles tries to stop her and the Phoenix gets angry but he is able to stop her in time and explodes the base freeing the X-men.

With them freed, Beast calls and tells them the Brotherhood had captured him, psychically took what they needed and have freed Magneto who spells “Thank You Charles” with metal in the air.

Magneto, now restored, meets with the new brotherhood and when Prosimian claims he restored Magneto, Prosimian gets killed because Magneto is racist against other types of non-human mutants. And so he puts out the order to bring everyone else back and that he will deal with his children.

 

26 – Return of the King: Prelude

Art – Ben & Ray Lai, Colors – Dave Stewart. Letters – Chris Eliopoulos

8 years ago we join Charles as he leaves Moira and David to go with Magneto saying he figures they won’t miss him.

A year later they save Ricky Gibson, a black mutant with explosive powers, from being murdered and Charles offers to help him to gain control.

Now 6 years ago the Rolling Stone is invited to learn about the Brotherhood of Mutants which is a proto-Xavier school using Magneto’s money because they want to share their idea of having students to help and shape the future.

5 years ago they landed in Savage Lad for the first time to start making their new community and Xavier and Magneto still hope for peace.

4 years later, Ricky, who has now been rebranded as Detonator, is checking in as Magneto worries that Xavier and the others want to stop him from taking over and 5 months down the line, Magneto has started to wear his telepathy blocking helmet because he believes Xavier has been manipulating them and working behind his back.

Three years later Xavier and his followers try to escape and Xavier ends up hospitalized, the Brotherhood declares war a week later, a week later Xavier finds he will be wheelchair bound and and then one more week later, Detonator blows up the Pentagon.

Now in the present in the Arctic Circle, Magneto and Sabretooth start to plan for their new base.

 

2003

Ultimate War #1-4

Writer – Mark Millar, Pencils – Chris Bachalo, Inks – Tim Townsend, Andy Ownes, Aaron Dowd, Color – Paul Mounts, Letters – Chris Eliopoulos

At the Brooklyn Bridge, a crashed eighteen wheeler has traffic stalled and then suddenly the bridge and the 800 people on it are destroyed. Magneto appears on TV announcing his return and giving the world six months to hand over power. Fury meets with Bush and Cheney and they’re all angry that Xavier lied about Magneto being dead so Fury prepares to send in the Ultimates who at the time are working on rescuing people except for Cap, Black Widow and Hawkeye who are trying to find their targets.

As the death toll comes in, the rogue members of the Brotherhood watch on before Cap’s team comes in, taking most of them by surprise except for Rogue who steals Toad’s powers and then escapes Hawkeye until he shoots her and knocks her out.

Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver come in to meet with the rest of the Ultimates because they understand it is safer for them there and Cap still vouches for them and Cap plans to split the team up across major cities to detain anti-human mutants which Thor doesn’t like.

Iron Man and SHIELD meanwhile go to the Xavier School, knocking out the defenses and he finds the school packed up empty and assumes they have teamed up with the Brotherhood.

The Wasp goes to visit Jean’s father who doesn’t believe Xavier would work with Magneto and reveals he knew the truth about the mind wipe and supported it because he wanted to give a second chance and blames SHIELD for the X-men going into hiding, and he refuses to and is also unable to tell where the X-men are hiding.

At the new safehouse, Charles checks in on Moira who is unhappy having to hide while Xavier wants to know what happened in the Savage Land because he can’t reach out. He also wants to catch Magneto and stop him without killing him. Storm and Jean went for supplies and tensions are high in secret base and the Danger Room keeps sending Orthodox Jews instead of Ninjas. Storm blames Hank for being an idiot and getting them in the situation and when Jean tries to stick up for him, Storm blames her as well, when suddenly Jean senses the ship returning with the Savage Land gang but only Wolverine and Kitty are back and Kitty says Cyclops died.

Cap meanwhile recognizes Wolverine from the profile as Jim Howlett, someone he knew from Canadian Special Forces who fought with him in WW2 and they called him Lucky Jim because he wouldn’t die. Cap goes on to lay out the three goals – find the X-men, find the Brotherhood, and then figure out how they will attack. Tony has been working on a global version of Cerebro to track mutants when suddenly the power goes out.

Magneto goes in and is able to stop the Ultimates and finds his children and he’s angry that they messed with the Brotherhood by pacifying it so he shoots Quicksilver in the knees making Scarlet Witch watch and he leaves after wiping out information on the Brotherhood and restoring power and Cap swears revenge. Charles reaches out to make peace but Cap isn’t having it.

Fury meanwhile brought the President to Lincoln, Leaders In Need Christian-Only Lockdown Network, a town designed to be a security system where almost everything is defensive. Things are also getting worse because of the fear and Fury knows he needs to be active and so Fury has promised revenge.

Banner meanwhile escaped when the power went out causing damage and eating six people because, Sure Mark. Cap also uses the moment to talk to Janet saying he knows she’s a mutant and he still loves her.

Mutants have meanwhile been getting forced to register or be rounded up. Bobby Drake and his family are living with friends for the time being and his parents have effectively threatened to disown him if he sees the X-men again.

Back at the X-men’s base Jean is frustrated especially when Xavier explains he wants to reach out to Magneto to talk but he tells her to believe in him. Kitty meanwhile helped Hank sort of fix the Danger Room making the Ninja Rabbis a feature not a bug. And Jean tells Xavier in confidence that she’s been seeing into Wolverine’s mind and that she thinks he let Cyclops die so he could get back with her.

Charles and Kitty meet with Magneto using Unus the Untouchable as a proxy where he proposed joining forces because they are already being targeted and he wants to crush the United States so the rest of the world will surrender to him and gives him 48 hours to decide. Wolverine goes to follow the proxy which was Charles’ real plan and he lied to the X-men so they wouldn’t be able to tell. Magneto meanwhile expected the betrayal and he told the Ultimates how to follow Xavier anonymously.

SHIELD clears the area and Iron Man launches the initial assault with neuro scramblers which stops Charles and Jean. Wolverine meanwhile is chased by SHIELD helicopters and refuses to go to X-Factor in Gitmo and so he destroys some helicopters.

Xavier and Jean are meanwhile knocked out as Iron Man goes in and runs into Colossus which he was not ready for. Storm starts summoning weather and comes up against Thor. Beast meanwhile carries Xavier through the sewers and into the Danger Room so Hawkeye and the soldiers have to fight the Rabbi Ninjas and when Black Widow tries to corner them further down, Beast ends up flying out with the jet but Black Widow clung to the outside of it and blows it up. The two of them eject though only for Iron Man to grab them by the parachutes until Wolverine attacks Iron Man, taking him by surprise because Wolverine is radar proof. Wolverine stops destroying the suit till Beast tells him to save Jean and Kitty.

That pair got cornered by soldiers who are unhappy about losing people on the Bridge so Wolverine lands and kills the soldiers telling Jean to cover Kitty’s eyes. Captain America shows up and Wolverine doesn’t remember his past and he starts to remember things when Cap brings them up, freezing Wolverine before Cap is able to pump him full of bullets. Meanwhile Colossus moved to attacking Thor so Hawkeye shoots him with a mini nuke which stops him.

But as things are looking their darkest Iceman comes in freezing the soldiers, taking out the neuro scramblers, and restoring psychic connections. Xavier paralyzes everyone who isn’t a mutant so they can escape and that’s when Wasp, who is still a secret mutant, comes in and knocks out Xavier allowing him to be captured as the rest of the X-men escape.

That night the Ultimates have Xavier locked up but Magneto reaches out offering him a final chance to switch sides and Xavier turns him down which Magneto expected which was why he helped to support the Ultimates in capturing the X-men, so they’d weaken each other and he could take the remaining pieces.

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