UltiversalQ 038: Joe Biden’s Satanic Biker Cult

Ultimate Comics: Avengers #1-6 

Writer – Mark Millar, Pencils – Carlos Pacheco, Inks – Danny Miki, Dexter Vines, Crime Lab Studios, Allen Martinez, Victor Olazaba, Chism, Thomas Palmer,  Color – Justin Ponsor, Letters – VC’s Cory Petit

Captain America and Hawkeye were fighting AIM, Advanced Idea Mechanics, a terrorist group that was stealing from the Baxter Building. Red Skull overpowered Captain America and told him that he was Captain America’s son before tossing Captain America out of the helicopter, forcing Hawkeye to let them escape to save him. Later on, Captain America runs off after knocking out a plane taking him to another mission.

Hawkeye lets Nick Fury know that Captain America went rogue and SHIELD’s current director Carol Danvers has asked Fury to get a black ops team to capture him. Carol is unhappy with the situation. Gail and Bucky are put into government protection. 

Back in 1943, Captain America had sex with Gail on a brief furlough. Four months later when Captain America was found dead, the government made her give it up for adoption. In reality he was raised by the military where he was better than Captain America and seemed normal until he killed everyone on the base when he was 17 and then cut off his face, and start as a freelance assassin. 

Fury wants to open the Project Avengers to assemble a death squad and Carol agrees but will only give him access to Hawkeye, and Fury plans to call in Tony Stark’s older brother. 

Captain America meanwhile finds the truth. 

The team includes War Machine, James Rhodes, who is an asshole soldier, Dr. Gregory Stark who nobody ever talked about before, Red Wasp who was formerly the Insect Queen who can change size, control bugs and has bioshocks and is being controlled, Nerd Hulk a Hulk clone with Bruce Banner’s brain in the Hulk body, a mysterious Spider-Man, and a new Black Widow, Monica Chang, Fury’s ex-wife. 

The team tries to capture Captain America who stops all of them by being more badass until he jumps into the water and War Machine electrocutes him.

Meanwhile Gregory reveals AIM got the blueprints that Reed Richards made for the Cosmic Cube and will be able to use it to rewrite reality. 

In Alaska, the Cube is read and the Red Skull kills all of the AIM agents to claim it for himself.

We find out that in the past, Red Skull made The Red Wasp kill her husband to try and save her baby but still killed her baby anyways, and he also killed JFK as soon as he escaped the base. 

The Avengers teleport in to fight him and find the Red Skull killed everyone in AIM, has the Cube, and is able to take everything the team has.

Meanwhile Captain America who is SHIELD’s French headquarters which exists solely to call him out on the A stands for France bullshit, escapes, steals a teleporting jet that nobody else could pilot and flies to Alaska.

As the team is losing, Gregory wants to nuke them which seems like it wouldn’t do much to someone with the Cube, Red Skull makes Black Widow relive the moment she got her ass kicked because she’s a woman, turns the War Machine suit into the bones of Hawkeye’s dead family and then Captain America crashes, an ends up impaling Red Skull because Hawkeye helped him to target the plane. 

Red Skull is brought to the hospital, Gail gets to say goodbye which seems wild, and then Fury talks to the Red Skull who just wanted to have a family before the Red Wasp shoots him in the head. 

Afterwards, Gregory reveals that he knows that Nick Fury hired Red Skull to go for the mission so he’d have to be called in so he can eventually get in charge of SHIELD.

Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man #7-8

Writer – Brian Michael Bendis, Art – Takeshi Miyazawa, Color – Justin Ponsor, Letters – VC’s Cory Petit

Six months ago Rick Jones’ powers manifested and he ended up in a six month coma. Aunt May sees them returning home and brings dinner because she heard Rick had an overdose. Rick’s mom says he might be a mutant whose powers manifested but his mom is worried. 

May calls everyone together and tells Peter, Johnny, and Bobby to talk to him as their superhero identities but Bobby ends up scaring him and Spider-Man and Rick teleport to Ann Arbor, Michigan where they smash a restaurant. Rick takes Spider-Man home on accident and when they talk about how Rick got his powers, Johnny recognizes the situation from when he met the Watcher who told him it would pick a Chosen One.

Johnny says the place closed but Rick still wants to go and all of them teleport there to find the base invaded by the Serpent Society, the snake themed women group after the Serpent Crown. The team takes them out as security comes back in and they return home instead of answering any questions. Rick ends up deciding to leave until he can figure out who he is and what he can do and takes the name Nova. 

Ultimate Comics: Avengers 2 #1-6

Writer – Mark Millar, Pencils – Lenil Francis Yu, Inks – Gerry Alanguilan, Jason Paz, Edgar Tadeo, Jeff Huet, Color – Laura Martin, Dave McCaig, Frank Martin, Letters – VC’s Cory Petit

Frank Castle has been taking out members of an Eastern European trafficking organization run by the Red Hammer and has tracked him to the Astoria Plaza hotel. When he goes to kill him though, he’s knocked out because it was a sting by SHIELD and Captain America who arrested the real Red Hammer and extradited him to Russia. 

Monica Chang and Nick Fury offer him a deal to join the Avengers as their new Captain America as they need him to help and get the first Hulk, Bruce Banner’s mentor. The aforementioned mentor lives in “South America” as a gang lord under the assumed name of Tyrone Cash, but is actually a formerly disabled Cambridge professor named Leonard Williams. War Machine was sent to bring him in, they fight and eventually War Machine warns him if he doesn’t work with them, his family will find out what he’s been doing.

The White House has ordered them to stop a series of mysterious murders that have happened to some incredibly people by murdering the mutant responsible. Punisher also finds out that Monica has a control for nanobots inside of him.

When they check out the most recent attack, the only survivor was a housekeeper who had a cross on him .

The team is them sent to Chicago to protect the next person who is supposed to land when the Ghost Rider appears and drives into the plane in the sky, stealing the target. Hawkeye shoots a missile which destroys Ghost Rider’s bike and he and Punisher head in after him. Punisher catches him but Ghost Rider overpowers him until the Punisher’s cross is revealed. The target is killed and Ghost Rider escapes.

Carol Danvers is angry that she wasn’t informed about this and they head to the Spider, who has information. The Spider makes Monica tell him a secret so she reveals how Nick Fury systematically fucked every woman in her life and she still loves him. 

Spider reveals that the Ghost Rider was originally Johnny Blaze. He and his girlfriend were ritually sacrificed to Satan by a biker gang led by Bobby Blackthorne in exchange for wealth and power and Satan offered him a chance to bring Roxanne back to life in exchange for him killing all of them as the Ghost Rider. The last target is the Vice President, Joe Biden or actually Bobby Blackthorne, which is where the orders came from. 

The Devil offers meanwhile to give Joe Biden the power to fight Ghost Rider in exchange for his soul which he accepts.

Hawkeye talks about how he used to have an implant like the Punisher but he learned and doesn’t have it now and the rest of the team waits. 

Blackthorne heads out as a Ghost Rider but the Avengers attack him instead and the fight spills into the streets before Johnny appears to fight Blackthorne. 

Cash steals Ghost Rider’s bike and grabs Blackthorne but then Johnny Blaze drags Blackthorne into a church where the fight until they lose their powers. Blackthorne almost kills Johnny but the Punisher shoots him in the head and then he lets Johnny Blaze go because he relates to him and agrees with who Ghost Rider killed. Punisher asks Hawkeye to remove his implant and he is knocked out instead. 

Meanwhile Johnny is still working for the devil to protect his wife, the Punisher escaped after Hawkeye removed the implant and Fury is angry. Punisher then heads to Russia and kills the Red Hammer. 

Ultimate Spider-Man 9-14 

Writer – Brian Michael Bendis, Art – David Lafuente, Color – Justin Ponsor, Letters – VC’s Cory Petit

Spider-Woman stops a robbery by the Bombshells with some help from the Human Torch and afterwards when she tries to leave, Johnny follows and asks her out

At school, Gwen pushes Peter into getting a haircut done by all of the women in his life though they are caught by Tandy, a mutantphobic student. 

After school Johnny tells Peter about Spider-Woman and how they made out and how he’s in love and Peter can’t deal so he runs out as Spider-Man.

At school the next day, two government agents and the principal come in to take Kitty out because she is a mutant and she refuses. Peter tells her to run, Kenny attacks the agents and when they move to arrest Kitty she phases out with Kenny and they run off.

The principal has a PTA meeting to deal with the fallout and he announces he didn’t like what happened, and that he quit before he was fired and says they deserved better. 

Spider-Man, Johnny and Iceman go to check and see Kitty’s house is surrounded by police and news vans when the Shroud appears and attacks. The boys jump in and realize it’s Kitty before she reveals herself, says Magneto was right and punches Spider-Man. Spider-Man tries to get her to calm down and she runs into the sewers again, saying she wants to be left alone. 

Afterwards Aunt May tells everyone to be normal and stop doing hero activities for a bit and Bobby ends up working with Peter at the fast food job. While there, MJ shows Peter and Gwen that she has video she took of the incident and asks for advice on what to do so he and MJ head to the Bugle which pivoted to being a web only source. 

They meet with Ben who agrees they have a story and tests their integrity by asking how much they want for it and when they pass, he agrees to use the video without releasing it as proof against the government on what happened. 

Peter meanwhile sees J Jonah Jameson acting weird and setting off his Spider-Sense and goes to talk to him and Jameson attacks, knocking him out, stealing his face and locking him in a car trunk, before returning to the meeting between Ben and MJ about the article. 

Fake Peter makes out with MJ on their taxi ride back and she pushes him away and leaves the taxi. When he gets home he kills the taxi driver and tries to understand the weird living situation. When he gets up he checks in with his partner saying he thinks Peter might be more important than Jameson before Gwen shows up to make out. Fake Pete tells Gwen that MJ tried to make out with him which makes her angry and she storms out. 

The next day the household walks past the murder investigation of the taxi driver. Fake Pete tries to figure out what Peter’s secret is, notices MJ avoiding him, and Flash tries to mess with him so Peter threatens him. Fake Pete talks to MJ about how she thought he was perfect and they kiss again in front of Gwen and the guys. When he gets home Aunt May is angry because Gwen stormed out so he heads back up to the attic and finds Peter’s Spider-Man chest and goes out as Spider-Man.

Meanwhile Peter is tied up in a warehouse across from Jameson who realizes that Peter has to be Spider-Man. 

Fake Spider-Man meanwhile is robbing a bank and is working on destroying his reputation using mutant growth hormone to replicate the Spider-Man powers. His partner wants to kill off Jameson since he doesn’t have any other important information. We see that the partner of Fake Spider-Man is his twin and she has the same shifting abilities and she shoots Jameson in the head. 

Back at May’s, the news of Spider-Man doing crimes comes on and May sends Bobby and Johnny to save Peter. They quickly find fake Spider-Man and ask him to take off the mask and he realizes they are the people living with Spider-Man. He starts to shoot at them to no effect before zapping them and getting away. 

Meanwhile the twin with Peter wants to know his secrets, and threatens his family. She demands something she can sell but her brother comes back, Peter escapes the bonds, and Bobby and Johnny follow and both of them are captured. Johnny points out that Jameson is still alive so Johnny flies him to the hospital, and Peter calls SHIELD to take in the twins. 

Peter finally gets home and his relationship with Gwen is awkward and Jameson remembers who Spider-Man really is in the hospital.  

Ultimate Comics: Avengers #1- 6 : Next Generation

Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man #7- 8 – Crossroad

Ultimate Comics: Avengers 2 #1- 6 – Crime and Punishment

Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man #9 -14 – Tainted Love

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